Depression or Farewell?

On the subject of depression, perhaps we can try to distinguish between internally arising and externally caused manifestations. One may be depressed by 1. matters of self image or perceived actions or nature of self and 2. matters of the general human condition. These may not always be immediately distinguishable.

Should one carry depression as a badge of honor? Shall we say that if you don't feel the pain you know nothing of reality? We do, after all, make knowing so-called reality our objective.

Should one retire before the flames of the refiner's fire of the catalyst of pain? Well, there is pain of objectivity and there is pain of self-indulgence.

Matters such as diet, exercise, so-called positive thinking, attempted creative expression etc will, without a doubt, influence the perception of one's mind. Spinning is fun too; as background music you can try Alanis' Utopia; it's good for the sunny days, whereas Blue Oyster Cult's Don't Fear the Reaper is good for the chemtrail laden skies which presage doom. "Romeo and Juliet live together in eternity" - This is always a thought... cheers you right up. There's a wonderful pumpingly bouncey version by Apollo 440 for those who like spinning faster.

Thinking of suicide, for example, I thought that if I really were suicidal, then that would imply that I - whatever that is - should lay no more claim on the physical or mental vehicle. Thus this would be available - not a bad deal - a pretty good head with a pod in the matrix and all, certainly OK for operating therein, long as there be such a thing.

So if the I split the party, it could give what no longer interests it to charity, for example. This includes its capacity to perform outward actions in the so-called world, its mental capacity, its accumulated information etc. Of course, it would be polite to hand it over in good shape, nice and trim, mind sharp and so forth, but for these aims we can use the methods which address the physical and mental. The little I which was suicidal already kicked the bucket, so no more of that.

BTW Ra says the spirit of Abraham Lincoln was averse to physical suicide, yet had had enough, whereupon he gave his body and established position to a walk-in of 4D, who then took over the making of history.

So the ultimate disillusionment with life is not so bad, it can lead to all kinds of thoughts in a different referential context, such as declaring one's lack of need of anything accumulated so far. Maybe this is death of ego, or at least can be. Who was it who said that 'one must die while physically alive, and that is too bad that most only die when physically dead'? Mouravieff?

Depression is, as certain individuals have pointed out, often a state of preoccupation with self. This is fine, I've known people who get a great lift out of depression, indeed get spurred on to great ecstasies of feeding, orgies of chaos, veritable whirlpools thick with smoke, perfume, liquor, sense of destiny, sex, abandon and other delights. So depression and her sister mania both directly and indirectly will give the self and other self much experience. The far country would not be the far country without such attractions.

But if these are such fine sources of experience in self and others, how shall we sacrifice our blues?

Thus far we have only talked about depression rooted in the self's perception of self. It is true that a self so preoccupied is not immediately available to others. Or may be after a fashion but still usually is not an uplifting influence, so to speak.

What of the world then? Of the profound sadness? What of really and truly and consciously saying goodbye to it? Mourning the world which its death knoweth not? The world which, drunk from the wines of Babylon's licentious hostess, oblivious in darkness walketh, head high with pride which the imminent fall precedeth?

Attachment is at the root of suffering, says the Buddha. Attachment cuts both ways, a word of multiple meanings. Without attachment we would not miss the world. However, lack of attachment can be construed as either indifference as in 'apres nous le deluge' or as spiritual freedom, letting each go their way without judgement.

Does such a depression a result of the drive of the quest to discover or is it the distaste with the world's manifestations? Can be either/both.

The C's say that one need not feel negative emotions, but how does one then take in the vibe of the West Bank? Depends - the STO being might accept this as a fragment of creation defining the far country, the STS being might take it as indifferent, long as it did not come to his doorstep, or as beneficial if he were a beneficiary.

Think of the more transparent medium of 4th density. Therein the vibe of the West Bank is plain to feel, whereas to my 3D self it is speculative. If I felt it directly, it would probably be all encompassing and in a way incapacitating. To the 4D social memory complex this must be a clear, less personal observation, which is rich with information but does not fill the entity, as the clarity of the medium dissolves it wider, spreads it thinner, as it were, so one is not saturated.

Ra says that 4D STO feels compassion for the very sensory intense, i.e. painful catalyst of 3D. Yet 4D is doubtless better off with sensory precision, i.e. gets more data with less distortion, but does not feel with personal identification. The single affect does not overwhelm the entity.

The line between compassion and identification with another's state is a thin one. It is as if talking of consciously rescuing a drowning person and co-drowning. The latter tends to happen, happens by default even with some other selves.

We come to the the difficult issue of unity and separation. Knowledge of the state of one does not equate to identification. Maybe as residents of the 3D plane of separation we cannot in general be compassionate in knowledge and acceptance to the world at large, not without drawing a line. Thus feeling the world's pain from this density is like trying to pour the ocean into a coffee cup.

Thus abstract knowledge of something can be without emotion, yet the existence and development onward from this density cannot take place without emotion [C's].

What is the issue between emotion and identification? I'd say that identification is the basically uniformitarian thought that if something happenmed to me it would feel a certain way. This may not always apply to other self or its choices. This comes back to the critique of the golden rule by Laura. Identification assumes the interchangeability of selves, but if this in the ultimate sense were true, why would there be so many fragments?

We have another thin line between the separateness asserted by STS and the detached stance of STO towards others' lessons.

Is depression an emotion which limits or is it a springboard for expansion? The clinical, incapacitating kind limits, no doubt, although as an experience it may later be useful.

The existential sense of mourning for a world almost gone may just be an appropraite gift of farewell to the day's dusk.

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